When a chicken brings you arugula, it is considered an act of love.
I certify no animals were harmed during the making of this comic.
The scarecrow is a trained professional.
My class project is due and finals are on Wednesday.
My salad days, when I was green in judgment…
Quotation from Wm. Shakespeare, Anthony And Cleopatra
Boys, I may not know much, but I know chicken shit from chicken salad.
Quotation from Lyndon B. Johnson, former American President
Why do some food companies put gelatin in yogurt? To add firmness and consistency. The gross part is (if you are lacto-ovo vegetarian like I am) gelatin is made from the skin, boiled bones, internal organs and intestines of animals like cows, pigs and horses. It’s a by-product of the meat and leather industries. Gelatin is also commonly found in marshmallows, gummy bears, margarine and even beer. Check your food labels!
P.S. Yogurt has a 10-21 day shelf life according to the National Center for Home Food Preservation.
No, the serpent did not
Seduce Eve to the apple.
All that’s simply
Corruption of the facts.
Adam ate the apple.
Eve ate Adam.
The serpent ate Eve.
This is the dark intestine.
The serpent, meanwhile,
Sleeps his meal off in Paradise
Smiling to hear
God’s querulous calling.
Poem by Ted Hughes, Theology
Well-meaning people tell me I should eat fish. My being a vegetarian seems to bother them. But no, I don’t have to eat fish. Omega-3 fatty acids are available in DHA or EPA supplements made from plant-based algae. Omega-3 is also available in eggs. So there.
Everyone knows that some young bucks among the epicures, by continually dining upon calves brains… have little brains of their own, so as to be able to tell a calf’s head from their own heads; which, indeed, requires uncommon descrimination.
Quotation from Herman Mellville, Moby Dick
I love Canadians. Not only do they use blubber to keep warm, but their national cocktail is the Bloody Caesar. It’s like a Bloody Mary, except they use Mott’s Clamato instead of tomato juice. And they garnish it with a pickle. (I’ll wait to try the vegetarian version.)
Of a lady come from Cape Cod she remarked: “She ate so many clams that her stomach rose and fell with the tide.”
Quotation from Louis Kronenberger
Kansans are nicer and more courteous than Californians.
Drivers use their turn signals and wave at each other.
It’s vaguely frightening. But guess what happened next…
and I *knew* it was going to happen. A freaking tornado!
Several Contenders for “World’s Largest Ball of Twine” (Roadside America)
“Something is wrong with America. I wonder sometimes what
people are thinking about or if they’re thinking at all.”
Quotation from Senator Bob Dole, Kansas (Retired)
“We have a state spirit which is a unique mingling of Puritan
morality, Southern chivalry, and Western individualism.”
Quotation from Milton Eisenhower (Dwight Eisenhower’s brother)