What can I say? I like screaming. It’s almost Christmas. I have always liked Christmas.
He would never let us go. We were his belly slaves.
Quotation from Harlan Ellison, I have No Mouth And I Must Scream
Perhaps when distant people on other planets pick up some wavelength of ours all they hear is a continuous scream.
Quotation from Iris Murdoch
A wish for world peace from me to you. Merry Christmas.
Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious.
Quotation from Francis C. Farley
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
Quotation from Janice Maeditere
I’m proud to think that I’m on Santa’s Nice List. But I take secret pleasure in knowing I’m somewhere on his Naughty List too.
I was often very, incredibly naughty, and if I didn’t come home at tea time, I used to be sent to bed without any dinner. But people used to bring me things; I was better fed in bed.
Quotation from Diane Cilento
Sorry there’s no photo in today’s comic. I’ve been virtuously wrapping gifts and decorating the house this weekend. I’m hoping to avoid the last minute holiday panic that gripped me last year.
The tree is decorated, the gifts are wrapped and I have pumpkin bread baking in the oven. May your Christmas be filled with warmth, love and peace. Even if you don’t believe in Santa Claus.
My Christmas gifts were few: to one
A fan, to keep love’s flame alive,
Since even to the constant sun
Twilight and setting must arrive;
And to another—she who sent
That splendid toy, an empty purse—
I gave, though not for satire meant,
An emptier thing—a scrap of verse.
Poem by Thomas William Parsons, To a Lady With a Head of Diana
I got to sit on Santa’s lap yesterday. I hate being skeptical, but I noticed a walker stashed behind his chair. On reflection, though, I think he was The Real Santa Claus. Who else tells you it’s possible to make diamonds from coal? I believe him.
We were conspirators,
secret actors,
and I kissed you
because I was tall enough.
But that is over.
The era closes
and large children hang their stockings
and build a black memorial to you.
And you, you fade out of sight
like a lost signalman
wagging his lantern
for the train that comes no more.
Poem from Anne Sexton, Santa
Since I’m on Santa’s Naughty List this year, I don’t want to waste the last couple of weeks before 2009 being virtuous. No no no no no.
Are you on Santa’s Nice list? Or have you been Naughty too?
“Scared of Santa” Photo Gallery (ChicagoTribune.com)
Adults Only: Gibbet Cage A pre-19th century style raw steel cage with four hex-head screw closures and a large suspending ring. (Fettered Pleasures)
I miss childhood innocence. I blame myself for my corruption because I couldn’t wait to grow up. I wanted to be 13, then 16, then 18, then 21 years old. I told people I was two years older than I really was. Once you give up believing in Santa Claus, nothing is convincingly “pretend real” anymore.
Mommy, Is Santa Real? (Quazen.com)
Talk to Santa at the Milk & Cookies Bar (MightySanta.com)
Then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
What a laugh it would have been
If daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.
Lyric from Jessica Simpson, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
I’ve never liked people who were “Goody-Goody” because I could never live up to their standards. And that’s the point: why are their standards necessarily better than mine, especially in matters that shouldn’t concern them? If they think I’m naughty, it’s their problem.
*Note to Santa: If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you.
No one’s gonna tell me
What’s wrong or what’s right
Or tell me who to eat with sleep with
Or that I’ve won the big fight
Song by Adam Ant, Goody Two Shoes
Virtue cannot separate itself from reality without becoming a principle of evil.
Quotation from Albert Camus, Moderation and Excess
I make a virtue of my suffering.
Quotation from Robert Frost, New Hampshire
It’s going to look sparse under the Christmas tree this year. I already have my gift: a Dell computer. I’ll hang an extra-large stocking on the mantle, in case Santa feels sorry for me.
Scrooge McDuck “Bah! Humbug!” (YouTube.com)
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Quotation from Johnny Carson