For the next couple of weeks, I am re-releasing some old comics from a few years ago at the rate of one-a-day until July 1st.

1. Kansas. In 2008, I went to Kansas to visit my husband’s family.
2. The Sunflower State. I didn’t know what to expect. It was everything I had expected and more– including a tornado! Stay tuned.
3. What’s in Kansas? Kansas was a complete unknown to me.
4. Tornado Alley. I knew Kansas was famous for tornados, I just didn’t really expect to be in one.
5. Cawker City: Home to the World’s Largest Ball of Sisal Twine. The day started out, um, normally…
6. Rain Tornado. A rain tornado is one you can’t see, because of rain and darkness, until it hits you.
7. Tornado Shelter. The more doors you can put between yourself and the tornado, the better.
8. Tornado in Manhattan Kansas. It destroyed the True Value Hardware store. The K-State campus nuclear reactor wasn’t damaged.
9. Tornado in Chapman, Kansas. Everything you know can change in a matter of minutes.
10. Kansas Flip-flops. I found people from Kansas to be generous, practical and unpretentious.
11. Prairie Cathedrals. Parts of Kansas are so featureless that one often uses non-geographic landmarks for navigation.
12. Toilet Alley. Everyday life can sometimes seem rather dull.

“Beeeeee” said the llama. That is very good advice. Just be.

The wife should always avoid the company of female beggars, female buddish mendicants, unchaste and roguish women, female fortune tellers and witches.
Quotation from Vatsyayana, Kama Sutra (Aphorisms on Love) “When love becomes intense, pressing with the nails or scratching the body with them is practised on the following occasions: On the first visit; at the time of setting out on a journey; on the return from a journey; at the time when an angry lover is reconciled; and lastly when the woman is intoxicated.”

Sex is better when you can think of more things to like about someone than things you don’t like. It helps if the things you like aren’t all superficial.

The less you talk, the more sex you will get.
Ryan, 30, as quoted in Glamour Magazine, 101 Ways to Have the Best Sex of Your Life

My grandmother told me, ‘He should love you more than you love him.’ Two years and a bad breakup later, I realized that dating someone I loved less was an exercise in mind-numbing boredom.
Ruthie, 31, ibid.

Out of curiosity, I googled how many days old I am. Then I tried to remember as many of those days as I could. I found eureka moments, childhood memories, people, places, my wedding day, adventures, some Christmases. I remembered important days as well as insignificant days that were somehow important enough to be retained. I regretably confess I cannot remember all 14,368 days.
No, today isn’t my birthday, but I will nonetheless try to make it memorable.

Here is a “How Many Days Young Am I?” calculator. (Derbyshire Guide)

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.
Quotation from Richard Bach

Face it: Wooing is out, Woo Woo is in. Courtship in America ended somewhere between the time the television shows The Brady Bunch and The Love Boat were cancelled.

One good idea would be to invite the Pisces lady to your home to show her your aquarium. You should start your seduction process when she is engrossed in seeing fishes in your aquarium. Give her a kiss on the shoulders and this will automatically lead her to your bedroom.
Quotation from “Seduction by Sun Signs” (TheSecretsofSeduction.com)

A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5.
Quotation from a Personal Ad (DateHookup.com)

I’ll cry at anything when I’m sick. I get emotional at inappropriate moments– during game shows, talk shows, comedies, even during car commercials. I can’t help it.

This much we do know: All of us do it in varying degrees of blubbitude. Some of us are waterfalls, soaking fellow moviegoers with our public displays of empathy. Others are Saharas, for whom tears are about as rare as oases.
Quotation from Desson Thomson, The Washington Post

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

How to tell the difference between a woman and a banana: 4) Bananas give off ethylene gas. 3) The average erect banana is five to seven inches long (near-sighted), but subject to premature spotting and peeling. 2) It’s a known fact that women live longer than bananas. 1) Most bananas are picked green and never properly ripen.

Question: What does the idiom “going bananas” mean?
Answer: Going crazy, losing your mind. A lack of mental stability. To go bananas is symptomatic of doing irrational things, a lack of reason.
Quotation from Answers.com

Nuclei can decay by positron emission; they may also decay by electron capture, so I’ll try to be positive for you. A life in equilebrium is a happy life.

Gravitation naturally does not exist for this observer. She must fasten herself with strings to the floor, otherwise the slightest impact against the floor will cause her to rise slowly towards the ceiling of the room.
Quotation from Albert Einstein, The Equality of Inertial and Gravitational Mass as an Argument for the General Postulate of Relativity

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Quotation from Carl Jung

I think we all hunger for love even when we have it, for without it, we are a shell of what we could be.

I compare myself with my former self, not with others. Not only that, I tend to compare my current self with the best I have been… When I am my present “normal” self, I am far removed from when I have been my liveliest, most productive, most intense, most outgoing and effervescent. In short, for myself, I am a hard act to follow.
Quotation from Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

A dating website called Beautiful People only accepts new members by a popular vote of its existing members. In the past month, its members rejected almost two million hopefuls who had posted online photos of themselves. Their verdict? Swedish men and Norwegian women are the most beautiful in the world (with 76% of them accepted). Brazilians also scored high. Meanwhile, Britons are considered among the ugliest in the world, along with Russian and Polish men. The Germans also didn’t poll very well (only 14% were accepted).

Beauty stands
In the admiration only of weak minds
Led captive.
Poem from John Milton, Paradise Regained

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Poem from John Keats, Endymion