I am sick. I’ve been in bed all weekend. Since we’re both sick, I don’t get any sympathy.
The sick grapes on the chair by the bed lie prone; at the window
The tassel of the blind swings gently, tapping the pane,
As a little wind comes in.
The room is the hollow rind of a fruit, a gourd
Scooped out and dry, where a spider,
Folded in its legs as in a bed,
Lies on the dust, watching where is nothing to see but twilight and walls.
Poem by D.H. Lawrence, Malade
Washing your hands is crucial to preventing disease. But did you know poop germs mobilize into a mist when you flush the toilet and you can inhale them? It’s true! Leave the room immediately after flushing, because that “gurgle” at the end of the flush is the most dangerous moment for mist inhalation.
What Can You Catch in Restrooms? (Web MD)
The authentic! I said
rising from the toilet seat.
The radiator in rhythmic knockings
spoke of the rising steam.
The authentic, I said
breaking the handle of my hairbrush as I
brushed my hair in
rhythmic strokes: That’s it,
that’s joy, it’s always
a recognition, the known
appearing fully itself, and
more itself than one knew.
Poem by Denise Levertov, Matins
Pooping is a shared human experience, so why do most people prefer “privacy” when they use the toilet? Public bathroom hint #1: Don’t use the toilet located directly in front of the mirrors, because people will be able to see you. Bathroom hint #2: Girls don’t fart.
P.S. Today’s my birthday. In honor of such, please feel free to sit on one cheek.
Video: Girls in the Restroom (YouTube.com)
If 2.5 billion people don’t have toilets, it isn’t surprising that dancing is a favorite pastime. Dancing from one foot to the other (degage, it is called) was popular eons before the introduction of the Texas Two-Step. Can you imagine 2.5 billion people dancing? It’s either dancing, or following each other around picking up poop with hand-held plastic bags or pooper scoopers. Personally, I’d rather shimmy.
World Toilet Day, November 19th 2008 (World Toilet Organization)
Don’t laugh, a successful ‘big job’ is a big deal (The Straights Times)
May I also request you demand for clean toilets because that is another reason you could be holding back your urge and that is so unfair to your colon.
Quotation from Jack Sim, Founder, Restroom Association of Singapore
The authentic! I said
rising from the toilet seat.
The radiator in rhythmic knockings
spoke of the rising steam.
The authentic, I said
breaking the handle of my hairbrush as I
brushed my hair in
rhythmic strokes: That’s it,
that’s joy, it’s always
a recognition, the known
appearing fully itself, and
more itself than one knew.
Poem by Denise Levertov, Matins
I hate living a life of loose ends.
The first lesson of history is the good of evil. Good is a good doctor, but Bad is sometimes better… Wars, fires, plagues break up immovable routine, clear the ground of rotten races and dens of distemper, and open a fair field to new men. There is a tendency in things to right themselves, and the war or revolution or bankruptcy that shatters a rotten system allows things to take a new and natural order.
Quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson, Conduct of Life
This poem is inspired by John Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer,
who suggests most of our crap is… well, crap.
Plus I have pneumonia, so I’m feverish and taking antibiotics.
Funds for the Strip Club? (The Authoring Auctioneer)
It might be that some day I shall be drowned by the sea, or die of pneumonia from sleeping out at night, or be robbed and strangled by strangers. These things happen. Even so, I shall be ahead because of trusting the beach, the night and strangers.
Quotation from Janet Wood Reno (Janet Reno’s mother)
Maria: You should get out of these clothes immediately. You’ll catch your death of pneumonia, you will.
Inspector Clouseau: Yes, yes, I probably will. But it’s all part of life’s rich pageantry.
Quotation from Blake Edwards, A Shot in the Dark
Somebody thought “Let’s open more stores
so people don’t have to stand in line.” But
instead they should have added more easy
chairs, because nobody likes to drink alone.
Monitoring America’s Favorite Drug Dealer (Starbuck’s Gossip)
Starbucks Goes Skinny as Froth Withers (Financial Times)
“I’m so spoiled. I must have a Starbucks vanilla latte
every day. Otherwise, it’s going to be a bad day.
I also love Jelly Bellies. But that’s bad. Don’t tell my mom.”
Quotation from Katie Holmes
“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes
on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’”
Quotation from Conan O’Brien
Sometimes when it hits,
there is no choice but to obey.
Is Pooping on Film Pornography? (RadarOnline.com) Warning: This may be offend you.
Someone please explain how or why PooP is Erotic in any way, shape or form!
“I need to poop so bad I’ve got lumps in my throat.”
Quote from Facts About Poop (SmellyPoop.com)
“Glorious, stirring sight! The poetry of motion!
The real way to travel! The only way to travel!..
O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my!”
Quotation by Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows
Historical Note: This is Encore Seraphine Comic #350.