I am the happiest piglet in the world. I’m done with finals. The instructor told me I had enough credits for an A (afterwards!) and that I didn’t really have to take the final exam.
I know that if I’d had to go and take an exam for acting, I wouldn’t have got anywhere. You don’t take exams for acting, you take your courage.
Quotation from Dame Edith Evans
They only ask you one question, they say ‘Who are you?’ and I got seventy-five per cent on that.
Quotation from Peter Cook
Why do some food companies put gelatin in yogurt? To add firmness and consistency. The gross part is (if you are lacto-ovo vegetarian like I am) gelatin is made from the skin, boiled bones, internal organs and intestines of animals like cows, pigs and horses. It’s a by-product of the meat and leather industries. Gelatin is also commonly found in marshmallows, gummy bears, margarine and even beer. Check your food labels!
P.S. Yogurt has a 10-21 day shelf life according to the National Center for Home Food Preservation.
No, the serpent did not
Seduce Eve to the apple.
All that’s simply
Corruption of the facts.
Adam ate the apple.
Eve ate Adam.
The serpent ate Eve.
This is the dark intestine.
The serpent, meanwhile,
Sleeps his meal off in Paradise
Smiling to hear
God’s querulous calling.
Poem by Ted Hughes, Theology
Face it: Wooing is out, Woo Woo is in. Courtship in America ended somewhere between the time the television shows The Brady Bunch and The Love Boat were cancelled.
One good idea would be to invite the Pisces lady to your home to show her your aquarium. You should start your seduction process when she is engrossed in seeing fishes in your aquarium. Give her a kiss on the shoulders and this will automatically lead her to your bedroom.
Quotation from “Seduction by Sun Signs” (TheSecretsofSeduction.com)
A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting too serious.
But please only read lines 1, 3 and 5.
Quotation from a Personal Ad (DateHookup.com)
Pig Latin is uniquely American. Have you ever heard Germans speaking Pig Latin, or the French? “Ourquoipay eslay oyageursvay ontsay-ilsway erveuxnay? Eslay orcspay enay euventpay aspay olervay.” (“Why are travelers nervous? Pigs can’t fly.” translated from French into Pig Latin).
Only pig in Afghanistan locked up… to protect country from swine flu (Daily Mail)
Books are dangerous. Think how much better the world would be today without the writings of Darwin, Nietzsche, John Maynard Keynes, Karl Marx, Freud or The Bible.
Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries (Human Events: Headquarters of the Conservative Underground)
Name of Deadly Flu Virus Causes Consternation (Reuters UK)
Among the giant fossils of my past,
Like some small nimble mouse between the ribs
Of a mastodon, I nibbled here and there
At this or that box, pulling through the gap,
In heats of terror, haste, victorious joy,
The first book first. And how I felt it beat
Under my pillow, in the morning’s dark,
An hour before the sun would let me read!
My books!
Poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh
It just goes to show you: If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.
World Health Organization’s Swine Flu Update Page (WHO)
We want people to stay at home if you are sick. Do not go to work. Do no go to school. Do not travel- airplane, bus- no form of travel.
Quotation from Wilma J. Wooten, President, San Diego Society of the National Medical Association