Posts Tagged ‘Injury’

8 items.

Two Left Feet

by Seraphine Khorana on September 25th, 2010
Posted In: Comics
Two Left Feet

I must have done something really awful in a past life. The great karmic hand in the sky reached down and smote me again. Luckily, I didn’t break anything. I sprained my thumb and elbow. I got a few abrasions and contusions (medical talk for scrapes and bruises).

Hang a faceted crystal in the center of the bathroom; place a three-inch round mirror on the ceiling directly above the toilet to visually reverse the downward flow of water; place earth-type objects in the corners of the room to stabilize the energy.
Quotation from Stephanie Roberts, The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Feng Shui
(Feng shui toilet tips)

Women have this higher alternative value of how to spend their time.
Quotation from Grace Tsiang, as quoted in Women Desert Wall Street (Reuters)
I love this quote.

No results found for “Hiking shoes for two left feet”.
Quotation from Google search

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“Pardon my French”

by Seraphine Khorana on September 4th, 2010
Posted In: Comics
“Pardon my French”

I paid my car off in April. Do you know how nice it is not to have car payments? So the Universe blessed my good fortune by hurling a truck at me this week and destroying my little, completely-paid-for, all-mine car. My insurance company gave me a check and said I’m supposed to replace my Honda with a comparable one. The “catch” is nobody takes care of their cars as well as I do. There isn’t a Honda that is “just like mine” for sale anywhere. I bought a newer one that cost me an additional ten thousand dollars. Alas, I’m making car payments again. Thank you Universe– I’m at least blessed that nobody was injured in the wreck.

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.
Quotation from Jack Handey

Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like… love!
Quotation from Homer Simpson

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Promiscuous Women / Divine Retribution

by Seraphine Khorana on April 21st, 2010
Posted In: Comics
Promiscuous Women / Divine Retribution

If I can’t blame YOU, who else is there to blame?

Father Wages Court Battle Against Funeral Protests “Military deaths are the work of a wrathful God who punishes the United States for tolerating homosexuality.” (ABC News)

Why Is Pat Robertson Blaming Haiti? “The [Haitian earthquake] was divine retribution for a pact with the devil.” (Time Magazine)

Disabled Kids are God’s Punishment for Abortion “God is taking “vengeance” on parents who have had abortions by making their other children disabled.” (CBS News)

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Girl Cooties

by Seraphine Khorana on January 20th, 2010
Posted In: Comics
Girl Cooties

I used to love red licorice after my friend Marcella told me red licorice makes your boobs grow.

Everyone knows you can’t see death cooties. Take my word for it, that couch has the biggest, fattest death cooties that ever existed.
Quotation from Janet Evanovich

I hope people realise that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs.
Quotation from Dolly Parton

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Random Testing

by Seraphine Khorana on December 26th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Random Testing

It’s the day after Christmas. This is also a time when family violence increases. People are together more, amid the additional stresses of holiday spending and often alcohol. Don’t allow it in your life, or in the lives of your loved ones. Domestic violence is NOT acceptable, even at Christmas.

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) if you need help or shelter.

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The Difference Between a Woman and a Banana (Dedicated to Dani)

by Seraphine Khorana on December 20th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
The Difference Between a Woman and a Banana (Dedicated to Dani)

How to tell the difference between a woman and a banana: 4) Bananas give off ethylene gas. 3) The average erect banana is five to seven inches long (near-sighted), but subject to premature spotting and peeling. 2) It’s a known fact that women live longer than bananas. 1) Most bananas are picked green and never properly ripen.

Question: What does the idiom “going bananas” mean?
Answer: Going crazy, losing your mind. A lack of mental stability. To go bananas is symptomatic of doing irrational things, a lack of reason.
Quotation from Answers.com

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My Fascination with Xombies

by Seraphine Khorana on November 7th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
My Fascination with Xombies

Since Xombies are “born” mindless, one must assume their hunger for brains translates into a thirst for Knowledge; and that’s why Xombies will one day take over the world. They are unlike most Humans, who seem unwilling to learn– once they have already formed an opinion.

With the rest I dispense— I sever from what I thought would suffice me, for it does not— it is now empty and tasteless to me.
I heed knowledge, and the grandeur of The States, and the example of heroes, no more.
I am indifferent to my own songs—I will go with him I love.
It is to be enough for us that we are together— We never separate again.
Poem from Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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Reserved 69

by Seraphine Khorana on April 24th, 2008
Posted In: Comics
Reserved 69

You can take a thousand steps, each the same way, but
step 1,001 results in an injury. How is it you can scientifically
quantify force, but not quantify how a person is damaged?
People don’t live in a controlled environment. A pebble, a tiny
twitch, an unconditioned impression, a life is forever changed.

Squat Analysis and Injury

“The safest and most suitable form of penance seems to be that which causes pain in the flesh but does not penetrate to the bones, that is, which causes suffering but not sickness. So the best way seems to be to scourge oneself with thin cords which hurt superficially, rather than to use some other means which might produce serious internal injury.”
Quotatation from Saint Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises

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