I have to wonder, though: What sort of person becomes a butt doctor? I’ve met thousands of people in my lifetime and never once has anyone told me their life’s dream is to be a Rear Admiral. I can understand the desire to be a brain surgeon or somebody that can restore eye sight; I can’t imagine wanting to be up in somebody’s business.
The thing that scares me is– if they go far enough into the colon, through the stomach and past the esophagus– they might eventually find my head. Oh oh.

YouTube video of Katie Couric’s colonoscopy.

Dr. Kylie Johnson’s MADtv colonoscopy. “Alright, Robin, to the batcave!”
“Roll up the windows, kids, we’re going to pass a farm!”

Tonight, I’m at the top of the proverbial mountain. I’ve arrived at the pinnacle.
This is it. Ta-da.
Tomorrow is my birthday, the one that changes everything. It’s the big four-oh.
No, I’m not Sisyphus. There is no huge boulder to roll back downhill, allowing me to start over. My punishment reward is to keep going.
Here’s what I’m blessed with: I’m comfortable in my own skin; I have a strong sense of self; Being 40 is 10 times easier than being 20.
I’ll get through this, even if it kills me.

Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time.
Quotation from Tallulah Bankhead

“I was blackballed by seven Pizza joints.” (Sarah Colonna on Youtube)

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.
Quotation from Maya Angelou

I’m embarrassed that it has been too long between Encore Seraphine updates. I spent a few days at Lake Tahoe on holiday and then I’ve been learning how to use an HTML Editor for an advanced markup/css class I’m taking. I haven’t been slacking off, honestly!
I voted this weekend. In California, we’re allowed to do ‘absentee’ balloting, which essentially means I can vote by mail. I voted against the initiative to legalize marijuana in California because anyone who wants to partake can already get a doctor’s prescription to legally do so. Did I do the right thing? The elections are November 2nd.

We’re kind of like anti-Wal-Mart and anti-McDonald’s. So for them to try to sneak in and turn cannabis into a corporation, that’s disgusting.
Quotation from Dragonfly de la Luz, supporting Stoners Against Prop 19

We spent a few days in Reno, Nevada. It seems a shabbier version of Las Vegas– a few casinos surrounded by pawn shops, tattoo parlors, wedding chapels and budget motels. Despite the recession, there are some signs of urban renewal. They have a new downtown ballpark and a Triple-A level baseball team. The Riverwalk District, not far from the casinos, offers theaters, restaurants and events like Art and Wine Walks. Reno, which proudly proclaims itself as “The Biggest Little City in the World,” has potential.
I decided to take more classes this fall. I’ll learn to create webpages using HTML and Cascading Style Sheets. Wish me luck.

Out of curiosity, I googled how many days old I am. Then I tried to remember as many of those days as I could. I found eureka moments, childhood memories, people, places, my wedding day, adventures, some Christmases. I remembered important days as well as insignificant days that were somehow important enough to be retained. I regretably confess I cannot remember all 14,368 days.
No, today isn’t my birthday, but I will nonetheless try to make it memorable.

Here is a “How Many Days Young Am I?” calculator. (Derbyshire Guide)

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.
Quotation from Richard Bach

The tragic oil “spill” in the Gulf of Mexico continues. BP CEO Tony Hayward’s congressional hearing this week was a disappointment. I wanted him to tell Congress that BP takes every precaution to prevent accidents like this. I wanted to hear that safety and protecting the environment is as important to him as profits. After all, Mr. Hayward was appointed in 2007 to “clean up” BP after the Texas City refinery fire of 2005 and the Prudhoe Bay pipeline spills that occured the following year. But instead of changing the penny-pinching corporate culture of BP, he cut expenses and eliminated 7,500 jobs.

Does America’s rightous indignation make you feel uncomfortable? It does me. Two months ago, we were angry at Goldman Sachs. BP is just the villain du jour. The underlying problem is we– as a society– tolerate expediency over having to make difficult choices. Too many of us think it’s ok to use torture as a tool in the war against terrorism. Why do Republicans and Democrats point fingers at each other rather than fix the health care system or Social Security? Where is the indignation over having 300,000 homeless children in California?
Doing the right thing proactively is always less costly and painful than damage control after something bad happens.

Far From Gulf, a Spill Scourge 5 Decades Old (The New York Times) “The Niger Delta, where the wealth underground is out of all proportion with the poverty on the surface, has endured the equivalent of the Exxon Valdez spill every year for 50 years.”

Be inspired by: The Excitement is Building (on Habitat for Humanity) “Everyone is pretty ordinary. No divas or superstars. But together we make a very big difference.”

Too often, I judge my worth by how others see me. It’s a social thing, not unique to women. I think I could be happier if I was different. I wish I was either [choose one] taller, older, younger, thinner, prettier, more athletic; I want longer hair, shorter hair, shinier hair, highlights, boobs, better complexion, smaller feet, longer fingers. I wish I didn’t wear glasses. I eat well and exercise regularly. I don’t rest enough. Do you like yourself?

No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly.
Quotation from Oscar Wilde

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.
Another quotation from Oscar Wilde

Anniversaire heureux, Northie!

“What happened to the chocolate?”
“I ate it. It was there for three days. You had as many opportunities to eat it as I did.”

Symptoms of chocolate toxicity include: hyper-excitability and hyper-irritability; increased heart rate, restlessness and urination; muscle tension and tremors. Complications include hypothermia, seizures, cardiac arrest, even death. Death can result from intoxication… No antidote exists for chocolate poisoning in a dog.
Quotation from VetInfo.com, My Dog Ate Chocolate: How Much is Toxic?

There’s no road map on how to raise a family; it’s always an enormous negotiation.
Quotation from Meryl Streep

Did life turn out the way you thought it would be when you were a kid? What you expected is probably what you got (unless you were unlucky); and if you didn’t expect much, that is also probably what you got. But no matter how well you planned (or didn’t plan), be honest– your life didn’t turn out exactly like you thought it would happen. For better or worse, one thing is certain: There were surprises and exceptions along the way.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Quotation from Dennis Wholey

We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
Quotation from Henry David Thoreau

Why do some food companies put gelatin in yogurt? To add firmness and consistency. The gross part is (if you are lacto-ovo vegetarian like I am) gelatin is made from the skin, boiled bones, internal organs and intestines of animals like cows, pigs and horses. It’s a by-product of the meat and leather industries. Gelatin is also commonly found in marshmallows, gummy bears, margarine and even beer. Check your food labels!
P.S. Yogurt has a 10-21 day shelf life according to the National Center for Home Food Preservation.

No, the serpent did not
Seduce Eve to the apple.
All that’s simply
Corruption of the facts.
Adam ate the apple.
Eve ate Adam.
The serpent ate Eve.
This is the dark intestine.
The serpent, meanwhile,
Sleeps his meal off in Paradise
Smiling to hear
God’s querulous calling.
Poem by Ted Hughes, Theology