I hate when something is advertised as “FREE” but you have to buy something to get it, as in: Buy 4 and get the 5th one free. It’s not free, it’s a conditional discount.

“But you said buy two and get the third one free.”
“No, I clearly stated buy three and get two, and the sign says No Refunds or Returns on Sale Merchandise.”
“But that doesn’t make sense.”
“Dear, I couldn’t state it any clearer.”

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
Quotation from Gloria Steinem

The world can be divided into two kinds of people: Conservative and Liberal; Those that have clean houses and those that have Abyssian cats; Those who admit they pee in the shower and those who lie. What two kinds of people have you noticed? (It’s not a test. You don’t have to be right.)

Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you’re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I’ve got a few missing. It’s ok though, because I’ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes.
Quotation from John Mayer (who has dated Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson)