What can I say? I like screaming. It’s almost Christmas. I have always liked Christmas.
He would never let us go. We were his belly slaves.
Quotation from Harlan Ellison, I have No Mouth And I Must Scream
Perhaps when distant people on other planets pick up some wavelength of ours all they hear is a continuous scream.
Quotation from Iris Murdoch
Friends will arrive and friends will disappear. There are lifetime friendships, to be sure, but like great-grandmother’s diamond ring, nothing lasts forever.
I been meek, and hard like an oak.
I seen pretty people disappear like smoke.
Friends will arrive and friends will disappear,
If you want me, honey baby, I’ll be here.
Lyric from Vic Chesnutt, Buckets of Rain
[Vic Chesnutt, in a wheelchair since an auto accident at age 18, died on Christmas day from an overdose of muscle relaxants]
It’s the day after Christmas. This is also a time when family violence increases. People are together more, amid the additional stresses of holiday spending and often alcohol. Don’t allow it in your life, or in the lives of your loved ones. Domestic violence is NOT acceptable, even at Christmas.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) if you need help or shelter.
A wish for world peace from me to you. Merry Christmas.
Christmas is perhaps the only time in the year when people can obey their natural impulses and express their true sentiments without feeling self-conscious.
Quotation from Francis C. Farley
Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.
Quotation from Janice Maeditere
I’m proud to think that I’m on Santa’s Nice List. But I take secret pleasure in knowing I’m somewhere on his Naughty List too.
I was often very, incredibly naughty, and if I didn’t come home at tea time, I used to be sent to bed without any dinner. But people used to bring me things; I was better fed in bed.
Quotation from Diane Cilento
Sorry there’s no photo in today’s comic. I’ve been virtuously wrapping gifts and decorating the house this weekend. I’m hoping to avoid the last minute holiday panic that gripped me last year.
The negotiations have begun. We don’t want to disappoint loved ones, but we don’t want to stress our finances either. If you want that iPod, I get a new camera. What will it take to make you happy?
Three in 10 Americans report a job loss in their household in the past year; among the rest, nearly half are worried about it happening in the months ahead. That makes it an uncomfortable time to spend.
Quotation from ABC News
If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Quotation from Dalai Lama
Now that nobody has any money left, everything is on sale. It isn’t fair. What idiot scheduled Christmas before everything goes on markdown? Officials should declare the first Sunday every January as “Boomerang Christmas” (for presents and family gift giving), leaving December 25th for more spiritual celebrations.
If we can afford tremendous sums of money to win the war, we can afford to invest whatever amount it takes to win the peace.
Quotation from Henry Wallace, US Vice President from 1941 to 1945
The tree is decorated, the gifts are wrapped and I have pumpkin bread baking in the oven. May your Christmas be filled with warmth, love and peace. Even if you don’t believe in Santa Claus.
My Christmas gifts were few: to one
A fan, to keep love’s flame alive,
Since even to the constant sun
Twilight and setting must arrive;
And to another—she who sent
That splendid toy, an empty purse—
I gave, though not for satire meant,
An emptier thing—a scrap of verse.
Poem by Thomas William Parsons, To a Lady With a Head of Diana
There’s nowhere to put the dirt. We open gifts on Christmas eve but they’re not wrapped and the tree is only half decorated. I was with Dell support today for two precious hours troubleshooting a computer problem. I need to bake bread and zucchini cake. I want to feel Christmassy, but I’m in a deep, deep hole right now.
Farm Program Pays $1.3 Billion to People Who Don’t Farm (Washington Post)
Debate Topic: The US should abolish agricultural subsidies (International Debate Education Association)
He asked if I would sell my Christmas trees;
My woods the young fir balsams like a place
Where houses all are churches and have spires.
I hadn’t thought of them as Christmas trees.
Poem by Robert Frost, Christmas Trees
This is alternate version #2 of Last Tree on the Lot. The original version was yesterday’s comic. I couldn’t decide which comic was more interesting. Which do YOU like better, this version or the previous version?
By the way, we got our tree yesterday. It was raining so we got a good price on it.
I worry I haven’t done enough for Christmas. I meant to get a tree Friday, but I ran out of time. I’m worried about money. Did I buy enough presents? What if I lose my job? It’s important to me not to disappoint anyone. We’ll get the tree tomorrow, together.
Earlier Saturday, protesters attacked a city-sponsored Christmas tree in central Athens, tossing garbage and hanging trash bags from its branches before clashing with riot police.
Quotation from Demetris Nellas, Associated Press, reporting from Greece
Moving between the legs of tables and of chairs,
Rising or falling, grasping at kisses and toys,
Advancing boldly, sudden to take alarm,
Retreating to the corner of arm and knee,
Eager to be reassured, taking pleasure
In the fragrant brilliance of the Christmas tree…
Poem by T.S. Eliot, Animula
I got to sit on Santa’s lap yesterday. I hate being skeptical, but I noticed a walker stashed behind his chair. On reflection, though, I think he was The Real Santa Claus. Who else tells you it’s possible to make diamonds from coal? I believe him.
We were conspirators,
secret actors,
and I kissed you
because I was tall enough.
But that is over.
The era closes
and large children hang their stockings
and build a black memorial to you.
And you, you fade out of sight
like a lost signalman
wagging his lantern
for the train that comes no more.
Poem from Anne Sexton, Santa
Since I’m on Santa’s Naughty List this year, I don’t want to waste the last couple of weeks before 2009 being virtuous. No no no no no.
Are you on Santa’s Nice list? Or have you been Naughty too?
“Scared of Santa” Photo Gallery (ChicagoTribune.com)
Adults Only: Gibbet Cage A pre-19th century style raw steel cage with four hex-head screw closures and a large suspending ring. (Fettered Pleasures)
I miss childhood innocence. I blame myself for my corruption because I couldn’t wait to grow up. I wanted to be 13, then 16, then 18, then 21 years old. I told people I was two years older than I really was. Once you give up believing in Santa Claus, nothing is convincingly “pretend real” anymore.
Mommy, Is Santa Real? (Quazen.com)
Talk to Santa at the Milk & Cookies Bar (MightySanta.com)
Then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
What a laugh it would have been
If daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night.
Lyric from Jessica Simpson, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
I have one eye on a goal, but my other eye wanders. It finds ideas to ponder and pieces of paper, interesting things on television, loading the dishwasher because we’re out of spoons. Can’t I put off Christmas until January?
20 Strategies to Defeat the Urge to Do Useless Tasks (Zen Habits)
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Quotation from Mark Twain
We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is.
Quotation from Arnold Bennett
It’s going to look sparse under the Christmas tree this year. I already have my gift: a Dell computer. I’ll hang an extra-large stocking on the mantle, in case Santa feels sorry for me.
Scrooge McDuck “Bah! Humbug!” (YouTube.com)
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Quotation from Johnny Carson