Wouldn’t it be ironic if my imaginary friend is really my guardian angel?

It is somewhat of a revolving door. Children are nimble in coming up with these imaginary companions and sometimes we have a hard time keeping up with all of the ones a child has.
Quotation from Stephanie Carlson, Assistant Professor, University of Washington

One child said the [imaginary] friend put yogurt in her hair.
Another quotation from Stephanie Carlson

“You have a good one” is akin to saying “Have a Nice Day.”
Isn’t it ironic that “A Good One” is also a congratulatory phrase used when someone tells a “Good Joke?”

Men are most apt to believe what they least understand.
Quotation from Michel Eyquem, Of Cripples

How do children learn how to make elephant sounds? I can understand a moo-moo here and an oink-oink there, but an elephant? It must be something babies are born with, because every infant I’ve met knows how to **BiaAAH!**

A baby’s cry is appropriately disturbing: ear-piercing enough to get the caregiver’s attention… but not so disturbing as to make the listener want to avoid the sound altogether.
Quotation from Ask Dr. Sears, 7 Things Parents Should Know About Baby’s Cries

PHOTO: Jack London’s Palace Hotel for Pigs.

In the Valley of the Moon, there has been laughter among ranchers over the latest achievment of Jack London. He built what the valley dwellers call a “Palace Hotel for Pigs.” The structure is all of concrete, circular in form, with a feedhouse in the center of the ring. “In twelve years, I’ll save the price of the thing in saving of labor, by feeding in the center of the pens,” said London in defense of his scheme.
Quotation from San Francisco Examiner, 1915

Saturday is Halloween. Despite the giant spiders and scary pumpkins I leave on the porch to scare them away, children still come looking for cookies and candy. They think their little plastic masks and bedsheets will protect them. Heh heh.

Lisa, vampires are make believe, like elves, gremlins and eskimos.
Quotation from Homer Simpson

ENVELOPE, n. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.
Quotation from Ambrose Bierce

In some countries, Friday is the equivalent of Sunday, meaning Saturday is the beginning of their work week, or my equivalent Monday. Some consider Friday to be an unlucky day to begin a voyage, but others say its a lucky day to plant potatoes. It proves not all Fridays are the same; there are Good Fridays, Black Fridays, First Fridays, Casual Fridays and Friday the 13ths. But I shouldn’t complain. Some people work seven days a week– for them, Friday doesn’t really exist at all.

Always strive to excel, but only on weekends.
Quotation from Richard Rorty

It’s not me. It’s my alien hand. In fact, sometimes my whole body feels alien.

Gwen: I’m sorry George.
George: I don’t understand. Things were going so great. What happened? Something must have happened.
Gwen: It’s not you, it’s me.
George: You’re giving me the “it’s not you, it’s me” routine? I invented “it’s not you, it’s me”. Nobody tells me it’s them, not me. If it’s anybody, it’s me.
Gwen: All right, George, it’s you.
George: You’re damn right it’s me.
Quotation from Seinfeld Episode 70, The Lip Reader

Alien Hand Syndrome (DamnInteresting.com) The alien hand may undo buttons or tear clothes while the sufferer is completely unaware of what the hand is doing.

I believe life exists wherever life is possible.

Garfield Minus Garfield A site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle.
Alien Presence on the Moon? (UFO Casebook) According to the NASA Astronaut Neil Armstrong, the aliens have a base on the Moon and they told us in no uncertain terms to get off and stay off!

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Aliens from space truly exist. They drop to earth from spacecraft
(referred to as UFOs) as tiny “spores” in much the same way as
mushrooms release spores. These plant-like, cellulose spores find a
human host and sit dormant for an undetermined time. Eventually,
something triggers the spores to become active (people have described
the feeling as “crawling bugs” under their skin). They break through the skin
forming horrible lesions that never heal. Eventually, the aliens poke through
the epidermis in the form of small plant-like fibers called Morgellons.
Diagnosis: Morgellons Disease
Symptoms: Bad teeth, black, tarry beads of sweat, brain fog, decreased
vision, disfigured appearance, fatigue, hair loss, joint pain, lesions, oozing,
sleeplessness, and confusion. There is no cure.

Sources:
Live Science article: Mystery Disease Makes Peoples’ Skin Crawl
World Net Daily article: OUTBREAK! Mystery disease hits South Texas
The Morgellons Skin Pathogen Foundation
Actual photos of the Morgellons among us

Thousands of people are infected by Morgellons. In the United States, most victims of this alien invasion are located in California, Texas and Florida. Those states account for the majority of UFO sightings in North America. Coincidence? No.

What sort of people make 1-900 calls? Paying by the minute
for sex talk or psychic advice doesn’t make sense. Stuff
that good shouldn’t be rushed. Mo’ bettah in person…

Roswell Chamber of Commerce

“Celestis is a postcremation service… We further reduce and
encapsulate them, identify each by name, Social Security
number and a religious symbol and place them into the payloader.”
Quotation by John Cherry, to a group of morticians who
want to send human remains into orbit around the earth

Don’t miss “Part 6: Actual Photograph of a Possible Alien”
in which I single-handedly solve the mystery of alien life on earth. It exists!