I need cheering up. Does anyone have something uplifting or funny to say? Maybe a little joke?
What do you give a sick bird?
A tweetment.
Quotation from JokesByKids.com
Who recognises the church in the photo? It’s located in the Northern California town of Bodega, and it was shown in the Alfred Hitchcock film The Birds.
the birds was a creepy movie, skeered ME… i have zero cheerful things to say, your advice is very good and i phoned back the owner and asked them to give me till tuesday to see if he stops whining
Email me. If you want. I have something for you.
Nazi Commandant to McQueen in “The Great Escape”: Are all American servicemen so ill mannered? McQueen: Yeah, about ninety-nine percent. Nazi: Then maybe while you are will us you will have a chance to learn some. Ten days, cooler, Hilts. McQueen: (turning up his collar to reveal a pin): That’s Captain Hilts. Nazi: Twenty days! McQueen: Oh, uh…you’ll still be here when I get out? Nazi: Cooler! (McQueen smiles, takes baseball and catchers mit and starts walking to the isolation cell). I think every creative person with a sense of humor who is cool and defiant can get a little down. You’ll be back feeling groovy soon, Seraphine! Smiles to you!!!
)
Watching Flight of the Conchords always cheers me up
I have just read a book “JPod” from Douglas Coupland… and there are some big moments with Ronald the macDonalds clown….
Loved that movie, and you rock girl! I can cheer you up, I have miracle stones, they are so incredible…I will find one that is to increase creativity and gain fantastic perfect-for-you job, some people don’t believe in Healing Stones, but I do. I’ve seen it happen time after time, except for me, as it doesn’t work on people who have a chemical imbalance, bummer…anyhooo I have to go look for the perfect one for you…then I will print one of your post and put the stone on it… x
Found the perfect one and no surprise it’s a bit scary looking and thoroughly gorgeous….well that is you: It’s called the AgateTuritella Agate
Turitella agate is a fascinating fossiliferous rock containing many turitella gastropods replaced by chalcedonic silica. Turitella is a very protective stone, and can help you accomplish great things through business. It helps you accept change, and implement new ideas. Use turitella agate in your attempts at eliminating a superiority complex.
(ignore that part, stay superior hihi)
Physically, turitella agate reduces fatigue, benefits the stomach, and aids the assimilation of zinc, calcium, magnesium, and vitamin A. Turitella strengthens the bones, hands and feet.
send me your e-mail and I’ll send you a photo, the one online sucks
Turitella is associated with the root chakra.
I haven’t any decent jokes excepting our local priest is a character who made a name for himself blessing horses who went on to win races at country race meetings so he became a celebrity. He also likes going to the races and having a bet but is also a compassionate man which can be confusing to those who would seek to learn from him.
One day at a country race meeting a chap observed the priest was on a winning streak and watched in amazement after each horse he appeared to bless in the mounting area went on to win the race. It was the last race and the man observed the priest making a particular fuss over one horse so he rushed up to the bookie and placed a big bet on that horse to win. Alas the horse reared up in the stalls and had to be destroyed. “What happened”, asked the incredulous chap to the priest. The priest eyed him coldly and said “It is obvious you’re a protestant and you can’t tell the difference between a blessing and the last rites.”
Best wishes
Many years ago I had a bust up with a girlfriend who hit me over the head with my guitar,cracking the sound box and then poured seaweed manure all over me. When I was quivering with shock in the aftermath my friend Jerry gave me this sage advice. “Don’t worry mate, you will laugh about this in five years time.”
All things must pass.
Oh..what can I say to make you smile???
Hope someone..somewhere..or something puts the lightness back in your step!!!
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things…
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
AND THEN I DON’T FEEL SO BAD!
Worth a shot.
(And clowns have always scared me.)
Smile, sweetie. It can be infectious.
EXACTLY what Beth said.
Shine bright, friend. You are loved.
Ask and ye shall receive.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GjVy2pMZiY
Enjoy.
I learned yesterday that under the Taliban regime the Afghani women were not allowed to buy cucumbers. Tomatoes, yes. But not cucumbers. That should cheer you up, dear. :=)
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”
“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
….. uhm…. funny…. not
x Laura Abigail
btw: I’ve changed my layout, let me know what you think
Sara – We all love you very much. I hate to hear that you are sad. So here is my favorite joke. I hope it cheers you up.
An elderly lady goes to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor gives her a full exam and finds her to be in fine shape for a woman of her advanced age. As he is going through his questions, he asks her about her lifestyle.
The doctor asks “How active are you?”
“Oh,” she responds “I like to putter around the house.”
The doctor nods, scribbles on his chart and asks her, “Do you still have intercourse?”
Suddenly the old woman rises, and exit’s the examination room. She walks past the receptionist and opens the door to the waiting room.
In a loud voice she asks her elderly husband “Earl! Do we still have Intercourse?”
The husband responds with a little disgust. “Darn it Mary, I told you before we have Blue Cross”
Lol, TDGunner at least made me laugh.
I don’t know any but George Carlin did:
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
Very pretty structure. I’ve watched that movie a zillion times, but don’t recall a church building looking that pretty.
are you cheered up yet? i find booze helps hehe jk… actually i bought a bottle of baileys last night and it didn’t help at all, i just wanted a couple shots to relax me, but found myself more depressed, but booze is a depressant, so makes sense… now why would a lovely talented charming bootiful woman like you find yourself down? ok here’s a joke, there’s a peg leg and a hunchback walking to the bar one night and they get to a graveyard and it’s night and the peg leg won’t go walking thru, so the hunch back goes by himself and lo and behold the devil jumps out from behind a tombstone!! and he says to the hunchback ‘what’s that on your back?’ and the hunchback says ‘it’s a hunch’ and the devil says ‘well give it to me!’ and he took the hunch away, and the hunchback went running to the bar to tell the peg leg all about it, and the peg leg says ‘wow i’m going there tomorrow night’ and the next night, sure enuff while the peg leg goes walking thru the graveyard, the devil jumps out from behind a tombstone and says ‘what’s that on your back?’ and the peg leg say ‘nothing’ and the devil says ‘here, have a hunch’
i don’t think it’s a very ‘pc’ joke lol i used to tell it at drunken parties lol one time it took me about 15 minutes to tell coz the whole room was laughing at every line lol and so was i of course… i’m sorry to hear about your hunch back too… what’s stressing you out, the job thing i imagine? they are trying to kick us out of the trailer park, being very mean, so i think we will be moving soon
Everytime time I think of clowns, I think of the Stephen King movie, It. You wouldn’t want to think of that!
And I’m afraid all my jokes are 100% Canadian, so all weather-related. So so funny for you I guess. And my French jokes are political, they aren’t even funny to me.
I guess I’m not a very funny person. Damn. Now I’m depressed too.
Hang on! Make beautiful comics for us, I have come to look forward to them. You have a lot of talent, your job is letting the wrong person go.
yes i don’t handle stress by eating, tho you wouldn’t know it by my body lol…. and moving is spendy, i wish we didn’t have to do it, i actually don’t think we will coz hubby thinks he will be able to find a place with an empty lot to take our trailer, and i just don’t think so… i think he’s in for a rude awakening
no i meant another trailer park with the ammenities already there for our trailer, not bare land… and yes i had just gotten used to the idea of staying here, now he wants to move
I see there is an extra chair at the table. Do you mind if I join you?
The sun is back here… each color seems to be a new one!
Bon week end Séraphine!
How do you capture a unique bird?
Unique up on it.
How do you capture a tame bird?
Tame way.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
-Groucho Marx