The Fudder Pucket Apology
By Seraphine Khorana on November 1st, 2009Posted In: Comics
One of the things I hated most as a child was being bullied to apologize. It wasn't the apology itself that hurt, but the humiliation of being forced to apologize. Usually, the thing being apologized for was manufactured by my siblings; the alleged wrongdoing was done by me in self-defense. Almost always, when a "real" apology was needed, I would have apologized on my own.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
Quotation from P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs
The best apology against false accusers is silence and sufferance, and honest deeds set against dishonest words.
Quotation from John Milton
└ Tags: Advice, Apology, Behavior, Challenge, Children, Control, Diplomacy, Discomfort, Fairness, Humiliation, Responsibility, Sorrow, Truth
I felt the same! What is the point of apologizing if you don’t truly believe it? And same thing around, I hate insincere “social” apologies. If you hate me, that’s cool, don’t feel force to feel sorry about it.
Those of us who have grown up in the Judeo-Christian traditions, have a deeply ingrained sense of guilt and because of this focus we think of ourselves as being much worse than we are but apology can be a form of meditation in action. Apology is being honest with another person about something we’ve done to hurt or disappoint them.
i know a girl that uses apologies for manipulation, she will stand in your way for 5 minutes, then say oh sorry, as if that makes it all alright and her a good person…. she’s always saying sorry for some intentionally nasty thing she did… like the photo of the curtain up top, puuuurday
I’m sorry (<–I apologize for everything), but the bunny tights? I must have them.
I know! Sometimes I feel like saying, “I’m sorry. OKAY???!!” Lol.
aha! someone else who eats cheese with their cherries
Very good!, I like very much your work, congratulations!
I know a girl not included in the adult world and who often had to deal with such humiliation! It reminds me of sad memories! But it is good talking about Seraphine!
Nice bit of social documentation Sera.
Very funny, my dear and your cartoons illustrate your comments perfectly about being bullied. I like your psychological insights and the witty way you have of getting them across. Real talent.
Special Agent Gibbs once told me, “Never apologize. It’s a sign of weakness.”
You are damn creative ! And what a big work, on a daily basis, I feel impressed – bravo !
Oh well, that’s all in the past, to hell with it
Wonderful theme, Sera ! Quotes are genial . I hate to apologize when I am sure I was right whatever said or did . Many people are not able to accept the truth . And they are these who get ‘hurt’ and wait for apology ! SH..t !
As a child, being ordered to apologise “Like you mean it!” honed my acting skills for later in life.
It amazes me that some people never apologise. Would I want to be that self-righteous, that self-absorbed? Nah. I’d rather “see” and feel than be so blind.
Ah, not a very pleasant childhood memory for me either. Great comic, Seraphine!
Comprehension of a person is difficult and challenging…
This probably the best comic I have seen; it is truely profound. We have all been in this situation at some time. Bullies only rule in pacts and the world is full of them. One-on-one they would never have the guts to try. Your comics are great but this one is my all time favorite.
I know what you mean…
Get advice and I like those bunny stockings!
Here’s a place that has made apologizing easy…………..
http://www.Imsorry.com
When I was told to apologize as a child, I was mortified and felt like I must be a terrible person. And later, as a teen, I apologized about everything because I really felt like I was always making mistakes and doing things wrong all the time. Ahhh, good times, good times.
I like being a grown up better, and deciding for myself, mostly rationally. (but not always. Sometimes, still, automatically.)
To tell you the truth, you are not alone. I love the representation of the bullies.
I feel an apology must be made by people who have wronged us. But it must be made with a sincere sense of contrition and not just a “drive by apology” that is insincere. It is wrong for anyone to bully someone into an apology who is an innocent person. One of the great qualities about a sensitive person who has gone through this experience is that they can be empathic towards others and can lend them understanding along with words of encouragement. This is a sign of strength and wisdom. Taking something unpleasant perhaps from the past and turning it into something positive to empower and validate others who have been harmed. A fine post Sera!
I so agree … hypocrisy doesn’t make amends or make anyone feel better about anything and the aim is humiliation. Sad and very true.
Excellent composition Sera, i like the message u send with this images! Great work also beautiful work! Best regards, Andrei.
Oh I do love how you interpret those silly social rules…love this, bravo
Wonderful theme…love the illustrations and post!
PG Wodehouse – always so witty and funny and true.
I was never able to apologize convincingly in that situation. You could always see in my eyes i felt the exact opposite and you should be prepared for vengeance in the future.
Just as a side note, its funny you used wolves for the bully’s. When i see a wolf it doesn’t frighten me. I would never try to approach one but it doesn’t scare me like it seems to other people. They have very soulful expressions. I get the imagery and it is quite effective.
Isn’t it funny how we can usually sense if an apology is sincere or not! It never makes sense to bully it out of someone if it’s not sincere…because it just makes the matter worse! Good point.
Making up stories to discredit a sibling is what was recently detected by my daughter with her younger son about his older brother – for fortunately she has the good sense not take those tales arising out of skirmishes at face value.
But think how nice and broad are your shoulders now (not physically) to shoulder life’s ups and downs, whenever you’re asked to explain why or apologies once again for what you never intended. I apologize for any unintended hurt which was not my intention – this is what I meant…….
As a nation our previous PM refused an apology to the aboriginals; now we have officially apologized just about everyone is very pleased – although the injustices belong to prior generations.
Best wishes
I’ve never been forced to apologize. I never force my kids to apologize (though, I will punish both if I can’t work out the truth).
lovely illustrations ! lovely and funny !