Archive for May, 2009

24 items.

The Elegant Goal

by Seraphine Khorana on May 31st, 2009
Posted In: Comics
The Elegant Goal

Aldous Huxley called Chastity the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions. It’s either that or my sudden addiction to animal crackers.

[Virginity] pledgers apparently gather strength from the sense that they are an embattled minority; once their numbers exceed thirty percent, and proclaimed chastity becomes the norm, that special identity is lost… Once the self-proclaimed virgin clique hits the thirty-one percent mark, suddenly it’s Sodom and Gomorrah.
Quotation from Margaret Talbot, Red Sex, Blue Sex (The New Yorker)

└ Tags: , , , ,
7 Comments

She’s Feral Outside the Box

by Seraphine Khorana on May 29th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
She’s Feral Outside the Box

Would you rather be born with a Silver Spoon or born with a Brass Doorknob? It doesn’t matter, because you can’t help how you were raised.

Russian police find Feral Girl in Siberia (Reuters)
Amala and Kamala, Girls Raised by Wolves (Wikipedia)

When you start talking to him, he chirps. He just chirps and when realizing that he is not understood, starts to wave hands in the way birds winnow wings.
Quotation from Social Worker Galina Volskaya, The Bird Boy of Volgograd (Pravda)

└ Tags: , , , ,
8 Comments

The Sign Says You Do Waxing

by Seraphine Khorana on May 27th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
The Sign Says You Do Waxing

“Never ever never disagree with me,” he said, unaware of his double negative. I called it to his attention. “I aint got to take nothing from nobody, especially you,” he replied.

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It’s plucking your eyebrows. That’s how I originally got pierced ears.
Quotation from Geri Jewell

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Quotation from Margaret Mead

└ Tags: , , ,
9 Comments

What is a Friendship Worth?

by Seraphine Khorana on May 26th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
What is a Friendship Worth?

There are Real Friends and there are Placebo Friends. Real Friends are reliable and very rare. Everyone else is a Placebo Friend, part of the control group that stays with you only through the good times. That doesn’t make Placebo Friends evil. One can be both a Real Friend to someone and a Placebo Friend to another.

What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain’t lookin’
Lyrics by Eminem, If I Had

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.
Quotation from Aristotle, Eudemian Ethics

└ Tags: , , , ,
6 Comments

Vacancy Part III: Unconventional Weddings

by Seraphine Khorana on May 25th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Vacancy Part III: Unconventional Weddings

It is considered good luck if the bride finds a spider in her wedding dress. Sew a small pearl into the bride’s gown and she will cry on her wedding day. If the hem is torn, the wedding will end in death.

Boob Punching (YouTube) Or you could give her another toaster.

Her wardrobe mistress hung herself; the palace gatekeeper cut his throat; the colonel leading the wedding procession collapsed from sunstroke; the stationmaster was crushed to death under the wheels of the honeymoon train; the king’s aide was killed when falling from his horse; and the best man shot himself. After all that, even the cake was in tiers.
Princess Cisterno’s 1867 wedding to the Duke D’Aosta, according to Britain.tv

└ Tags: , , , , ,
7 Comments

Vacancy Part II: (Brain Farts)

by Seraphine Khorana on May 24th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Vacancy Part II: (Brain Farts)

I hate brain farts, those momentary lapses in memory that come at the most embarrassing times. This is also called maladaptive brain activity, and it affects, apparently, the tongue. As in, I can’t remember your name, but it’s right at the tip of my tongue.

Scientists decode brain farts (MSNBC Health) Up to 30 seconds before your goof, the brain starts acting abnormally.

└ Tags: , , , , ,
9 Comments

Vacancy

by Seraphine Khorana on May 23rd, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Vacancy

Oh my god, they’re wearing sandals and socks!

Pictures of men wearing sandals and socks (Sandals and Soxer)
Ten Ugly Socks-and-Sandals Combinations (Listicles: The L Magazine)

└ Tags: , , , ,
8 Comments

Natural Male Enhancements

by Seraphine Khorana on May 21st, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Natural Male Enhancements

It’s simple. A hairy back alone offers too little material for a good fantasy. A sense of humor, confidence, and the ability to express yourself are turn-ons.

How to Be More Attractive to Women (eHow.com) “Display high social value.”
How To Be More Attractive To Men (eHow.com) “Smile. Cross your legs.”
Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men (Live Science) “Women are more interested in having a supportive husband.”

└ Tags: , , , , ,
14 Comments

California Is Currently Available For Adoption

by Seraphine Khorana on May 20th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
California Is Currently Available For Adoption

Instead of closing prisons, California is closing schools. Rather than adjusting over-compensation and trimming bureaucracy, California is cutting essential services and raising taxes. Instead of trimming fat, the economic muscle of California is being removed. Don’t be surprised when California registers itself as a bank and applies for federal assistance.

└ Tags: , , , , ,
8 Comments

Alter-Google Earth

by Seraphine Khorana on May 19th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Alter-Google Earth

So why exactly did God (or Allah, Yahweh, El Roi, Gore, Sophia, Zhu, Budda, Elohim, Abba) invent the Internet? Surely, the Answer to Life is contained therein, or the Internet wouldn’t exist. One final question regarding our human identity, because I have forgotten the answer: Are we Blips, or are we The Others?

If you type “the answer to life, the universe and everything” into Google (without quotes or capitalising the small words), the Google Calculator will give you 42.
Quotation from Wikipedia (Wikipedia.org)

The Campaign to Save Paste: If you donate anything, even a dollar, to save Paste magazine, you’ll get download access to their vault of over 100 songs, which currently includes artists such as Cowboy Junkies, Indigo Girls and Neko Case. Seriously good music! Bettye LaVette’s Change is Gonna Come alone is worth the price of admission.

└ Tags: , , , , ,
9 Comments

Is Gelato A Cookie?

by Seraphine Khorana on May 17th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Is Gelato A Cookie?

I could live on chocolate. But really, one also needs spaghetti, ice cream and cookies. Plus pizza, cheese and tomatoes. I could live on that. What other foods are so indispensable?

Custom Italian Cannoli Fortune Cookies (Cannoli by Mail) I haven’t tried these but I’m tempted!

How did the Italians eat spaghetti before the advent of the tomato?
Quotation from Elizabeth David, An Omelette and a Glass of Wine

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
Quotation from Sophia Loren

└ Tags: , , , , , ,
9 Comments

Dollars Would Be Cheaper…

by Seraphine Khorana on May 15th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Dollars Would Be Cheaper…

The top 5 petroleum exporters to the United Sates are Canada, Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Venezuela and Angola. We could solve all our energy problems by invading Canada (one U.S. aircraft carrier has as many sailors as Canada has infantry) and also by learning to speak Spanish.

The Invasion of Canada (Global Research) Canadian military strategists developed a plan to invade the United States in 1921.

How can I put it so you understand?
I didn’t let her hold my hand.
But she looked like you. I guess she looked like you.
No, she wasn’t you.
But you can still trust me, this ain’t infidelity.
It’s not cheating because you were on my mind.
Lyrics from Amy Winehouse, I Heard Love Is Blind

└ Tags: , , , , ,
16 Comments

Dad, You HAVE To Help Me Out

by Seraphine Khorana on May 14th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Dad, You HAVE To Help Me Out

Domestic auto sales are expected to drop another 24 percent this year, after an 18 percent decrease in 2008. General Motor’s restructuring plan involves building cars in China and shipping them to America. No recovery in demand for U.S. vehicles is expected before 2010 or 2011.

General Motors Reportedly To Bring China-Built Vehicles to U.S. by 2011 (Edmunds.com)

Executive vice president, F. Alan Smith, outlined a gloomy picture. From 1980 through 1985, GM spent $45 billion in capital investment, yet increased its worldwide market share by only 1 percentage point, to 22 percent. Until mid-1986, the capital-spending plan called for an additional $35 billion through 1989, but that had been reduced. “For the same amount of money,” he told the GM managers, “we could buy Toyota and Nissan outright,” instantly increasing the market share to 40 percent.”
Quotation from Maryann Keller, Rude Awakening. GM has been losing market share since 1962.

└ Tags: , , , , , ,
12 Comments

It’s Not My Crustacean Tubes

by Seraphine Khorana on May 13th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
It’s Not My Crustacean Tubes

Good news/Bad news: Scientists in Australia have discovered a Spider-Killer Wasp. They capture and paralyze spiders, which are then eaten alive by the wasps’ larvae. The bad news is… they are wasps.

Crustacean invasion: Beware the green crab (Juneau Empire)

Oh, sick I am to see you, will you never let me be?
You may be good for something but you are not good for me.
Poem by A. E. Housman, A Shropshire Lad

└ Tags: , , , , , , ,
12 Comments

Is This Some Kind of Yolk?

by Seraphine Khorana on May 12th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Is This Some Kind of Yolk?

I read about a girl in Australia who got pregnant from swimming in a public pool. She sued the city and won because the municipality had not properly chlorinated the pool.

Can You Really Get Pregnant From a Toilet? (Women’s Answers)

Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant.
Quotation from Jim Cole

└ Tags: , , , , ,
9 Comments

Bathroom Paranoia

by Seraphine Khorana on May 11th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Bathroom Paranoia

Washing your hands is crucial to preventing disease. But did you know poop germs mobilize into a mist when you flush the toilet and you can inhale them? It’s true! Leave the room immediately after flushing, because that “gurgle” at the end of the flush is the most dangerous moment for mist inhalation.

What Can You Catch in Restrooms? (Web MD)

The authentic! I said
rising from the toilet seat.
The radiator in rhythmic knockings
spoke of the rising steam.
The authentic, I said
breaking the handle of my hairbrush as I
brushed my hair in
rhythmic strokes: That’s it,
that’s joy, it’s always
a recognition, the known
appearing fully itself, and
more itself than one knew.
Poem by Denise Levertov, Matins

└ Tags: , , , , ,
12 Comments

Because Without Value, Nothing Truly Exists

by Seraphine Khorana on May 10th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Because Without Value, Nothing Truly Exists

Today is Mother’s Day. May you see all the grains of beauty and happiness the world has to offer.

Is money money or isn’t money money. Everybody who earns
it and spends it every day in order to live knows
that money is money, anybody who votes it to be
gathered in as taxes knows money is not money. That
is what makes everybody go crazy… When you earn
money and spend money every day anybody can know the
difference between a million and three. But when you
vote money away there really is not any difference
between a million and three.
Poem by Gertrude Stein, Money

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
Poem by William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

└ Tags: , , , , , , ,
8 Comments

The Last Pig in Afghanistan

by Seraphine Khorana on May 8th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
The Last Pig in Afghanistan

Pig Latin is uniquely American. Have you ever heard Germans speaking Pig Latin, or the French? “Ourquoipay eslay oyageursvay ontsay-ilsway erveuxnay? Eslay orcspay enay euventpay aspay olervay.” (“Why are travelers nervous? Pigs can’t fly.” translated from French into Pig Latin).

Only pig in Afghanistan locked up… to protect country from swine flu (Daily Mail)

└ Tags: , , ,
10 Comments

I Love Animal Crackers

by Seraphine Khorana on May 7th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
I Love Animal Crackers

I love animal crackers. My favorite is koala, although hippopotamus and elephant are delicious too.

When I get hold of the big bad wolf
I just push him under to drown
Then I bite him in a million bits
And I gobble him right down
Animal crackers in my soup
Do funny things to me
They make me think my neighbourhood
Is a big menagerie
Lyrics from Shirley Temple, Animal Crackers In My Soup

└ Tags: , ,
10 Comments

Let Me Go

by Seraphine Khorana on May 6th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Let Me Go

Bathrooms are safe havens, like embassies. They should be treated as “native soil” for anyone seeking peace and a sense of place. They are a place of refuge. No trespassing!

What the Pakistani People Would Tell Obama (LA Times)

There’s been a view that the U.S. is willing to sacrifice Pakistan’s democracy to preserve its own.
Quotation from Fasi Zaka

└ Tags: , , , , ,
12 Comments

Where Do Ducks Sleep?

by Seraphine Khorana on May 5th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Where Do Ducks Sleep?

I admit that I’m ticklish. It’s embarrassing when I get a pedicure, especially when a loofah is used on the bottom or sides of my feet. No matter how hard I try not to squirm, I can’t help it. And sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it even tickles when she polishes my toenails.

Tickling Miss USA (video.google.com)

└ Tags: , , , , ,
7 Comments

The Italian Job: Cultivated & Prepared

by Seraphine Khorana on May 4th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
The Italian Job: Cultivated & Prepared

I heard rumors that this may be Paula Abdul’s last season as a judge on American Idol.
Note to the Fox Network: I’m available!

Berlusconi’s Wife Wants to File For Divorce (Reuters)
Silvio Berlusconi’s Wife Attacks His ‘Shameless’ Election Stunt (Times Online)

She stood by him when he phoned adult sex lines. She remained by his side after he employed a topless model in his Cabinet. She even forgave the relentless flirting with women a third his age.
Quotation from The Times Online
(His wife disagreed with his plan to field “young attractive showgirls” in the European Parliament elections)

└ Tags: , , , , , , ,
8 Comments

Mirror, Mirror Off The Wall

by Seraphine Khorana on May 3rd, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Mirror, Mirror Off The Wall

You may have eaten ergot-contaminated rye bread. Ergot is a grain fungus that produces LSD-like alkaloids which cause delirium when ingested. Ergot may have been a causing factor in the bizarre behavior that led to the tragic Salem Witch Trials of 1692.

Secret of the Dead: The Witch’s Curse (PBS)

This is Comic #600. Whoever sent me the beautiful RD Lingerie, I didn’t see a gift tag on the box, but thank you!!! I love it.

└ Tags: , , , , , , , ,
9 Comments

Cotton Anniversary

by Seraphine Khorana on May 1st, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Cotton Anniversary

When i started making comics, I had no conception of what I was stepping in. (If it looks like shit and quacks like shit, it’s a duck). Thank you for sharing the journey.

The memory is like a cat scratching my heart.
Quotation from Marina Oswald

└ Tags: , , , , , ,
18 Comments