Archive for April, 2009

22 items.

The Viral Consumption of Words

by Seraphine Khorana on April 29th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
The Viral Consumption of Words

Books are dangerous. Think how much better the world would be today without the writings of Darwin, Nietzsche, John Maynard Keynes, Karl Marx, Freud or The Bible.

Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries (Human Events: Headquarters of the Conservative Underground)
Name of Deadly Flu Virus Causes Consternation (Reuters UK)

Among the giant fossils of my past,
Like some small nimble mouse between the ribs
Of a mastodon, I nibbled here and there
At this or that box, pulling through the gap,
In heats of terror, haste, victorious joy,
The first book first. And how I felt it beat
Under my pillow, in the morning’s dark,
An hour before the sun would let me read!
My books!
Poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh

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8 Comments

Beware of the Pig Pollen

by Seraphine Khorana on April 28th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Beware of the Pig Pollen

It just goes to show you: If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

World Health Organization’s Swine Flu Update Page (WHO)

We want people to stay at home if you are sick. Do not go to work. Do no go to school. Do not travel- airplane, bus- no form of travel.
Quotation from Wilma J. Wooten, President, San Diego Society of the National Medical Association

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15 Comments

If Men Used Tampons (“I Think I’m Turning Tamponese”)

by Seraphine Khorana on April 27th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
If Men Used Tampons (“I Think I’m Turning Tamponese”)

I love creative, inventive people, especially those who know bigger isn’t always better.

Parents: Beware of Vodka-Soaked Tampons (HubPages.com) Please don’t do this.
How to Make a Thanksgiving Turkey Out of Tampons (Tampon Crafts) Also learn how to make a Tampon Toupee, a Tampon Blowgun and other useful things.

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10 Comments

Sort of Pain

by Seraphine Khorana on April 25th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Sort of Pain

Thank heavens for pizza and percocet.

New flu has spread widely, cannot be contained (Rueters)
Nail stuck in nose for years finally dislodged (NY Daily News)

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11 Comments

“We do not want a public disclosure…”

by Seraphine Khorana on April 24th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
“We do not want a public disclosure…”

The onset of misinformation is abrupt and is characterized by fever, headache, joint and muscle aches, sore throat, and weakness, followed by diarrhea, vomiting, and stomach pain. A rash, red eyes, hiccups and internal and external bleeding may also be observed.

Bank of America Chief Says Bernanke, Paulson Barred Disclosure of Merrill Lynch Woes Because of Fears for Financial System (Reuters) What else haven’t they told us?

Truth titillates the imagination far less than fiction.
Quotation from Marquis de Sade, L’Histoire de Juliette, ou les Prospérités du Vice

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9 Comments

Sweet Sad Songs

by Seraphine Khorana on April 23rd, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Sweet Sad Songs

In the missing, we find what is left of ourselves. When I feel sad, I like to listen to the songs of Lucinda Williams, especially from her album “West.” What is your favorite sweet sad song?

Why, what could she have done being what she is?
Was there another Troy for her to burn?
Poem by W.B. Yeats, No Second Troy

Tears! tears! tears!
In the night, in solitude, tears;
On the white shore dripping, dripping, suck’d in by the sand;
Tears—not a star shining—all dark and desolate;
Moist tears from the eyes of a muffled head.
Poem from Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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11 Comments

It’s Earth Day. Are You Serious?

by Seraphine Khorana on April 22nd, 2009
Posted In: Comics
It’s Earth Day. Are You Serious?

A billion people will participate in Earth Day this year. If everyone thinks to better the world, there will be at least a billion acts of green performed. Whether you plant a tree or recycle a post-it note, it all makes a difference.

Earth Day Facts: When It Is, How It Began, What to Do (National Geographic)
Earth Day 2009: The Green Generation (Earth Day Network)

Nature rarer uses yellow
Than another hue;
Saves she all of that for sunsets,—
Prodigal of blue,

Spending scarlet like a woman,
Yellow she affords
Only scantly and selectly,
Like a lover’s words.
Poem by Emily Dickinson, Nature

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8 Comments

Don’t worry. Eventually, everyone meets in the middle…

by Seraphine Khorana on April 20th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Don’t worry. Eventually, everyone meets in the middle…

It’s said that looks don’t matter because eventually everybody meets in the middle anyway. But ohhh, what easier paths some people have getting there than others.

Full Version. Win Susan Win. Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent (YouTube video)
Euphoria, unease at UK web singing sensation Boyle (Reuters) “Is Susan Boyle ugly? Or are we? By raising this Susan up, we will forgive ourselves for grinding every other Susan into the dust.”

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11 Comments

Blind Diplomacy (children rule the world)

by Seraphine Khorana on April 19th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Blind Diplomacy (children rule the world)

The United States is boycotting a United Nations Conference on Racism because Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will address the plenary on Holocaust Remembrance Day. Instead of avoiding the conference, the U.S. should attend, listen and speak out against racism and hate. The world needs meaningful dialogue, not more “lines in the sand.”

Diplomacy means all the wicked devices of the Old World, spheres of influence, balances of power, secret treaties, triple alliances, and, during the interwar period, appeasement of Fascism.
Quotation from Barbara Tuchman, If Mao Had Come to Washington in 1945

All war represents a failure of diplomacy.
Quotation from Tony Benn

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11 Comments

To lose all my senses, that’s so typically me

by Seraphine Khorana on April 16th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
To lose all my senses, that’s so typically me

Trust involves risk, and is always dangerous. Depending on others leaves you vulnerable. But defensively assuming the worst in people will only bring out the worst in them. You have to be an optimist to trust someone.

I think my problem is this
I’m dreaming away
I wonder if heroes truly exist
I cry, watching the day
I’m a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That ‘s just so typically me
Lyric from Britney Spears, Oops! I Did It Again
(Vocalist Laura Tsaggaris offers a great cover of this song as a free download on her website.)

I have great faith in fools- my friends call it self-confidence.
Quotation from Edgar Allan Poe

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8 Comments

Call About Adopting Today

by Seraphine Khorana on April 15th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Call About Adopting Today

Tomorrow isn’t promised, and in any case, it becomes Today soon enough. Yesterday is gone, grabbed from the Piñata Universe and eaten by everyone who came before Today.

How To Adopt (North American Council on Adoptable Children)
How To Adopt Pets (The Humane Society of the United States)
History of the Piñata (MexConnect.com)

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6 Comments

I’m sorry, your duck isn’t a winner.

by Seraphine Khorana on April 14th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
I’m sorry, your duck isn’t a winner.

Let some sun shine into your heart today.

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
Quotation from George Carlin

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.
Quotation from David Frost

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12 Comments

Tough Love/Dose of a Necessary Habit

by Seraphine Khorana on April 13th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Tough Love/Dose of a Necessary Habit

Major banks are buying more of the toxic assets that have gotten them in trouble. Normally, I don’t care how other people invest their money, but it’s frightening that these banks are using taxpayers money to “double down” on losing bets while raising the interest rates and fees charged to their customers.

Bailed-Out Banks Eye Toxic Asset Buys (Financial Times)
Bailed-Out Banks Face Probe Over Fee Hikes (The Australian News) “Unhappy customers can cancel their accounts.”

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13 Comments

There are two kinds of people…

by Seraphine Khorana on April 11th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
There are two kinds of people…

The world can be divided into two kinds of people: Conservative and Liberal; Those that have clean houses and those that have Abyssian cats; Those who admit they pee in the shower and those who lie. What two kinds of people have you noticed? (It’s not a test. You don’t have to be right.)

Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you’re really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I’ve got a few missing. It’s ok though, because I’ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes.
Quotation from John Mayer (who has dated Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jessica Simpson)

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19 Comments

Shoot Photon Torpedos from the Captain’s Chair

by Seraphine Khorana on April 9th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Shoot Photon Torpedos from the Captain’s Chair

I’m glad cyber-thiefs haven’t disrupted the world’s chocolate supply. But if they ever do, watch out! The public reaction to a worldwide chocolate shortage will make puppy-stealing seem like child’s play.

Intelligence officials worry about cyber attacks taking control of electrical facilities, a nuclear power plant or financial networks via the internet… Officials said water, sewage and other infrastructure systems were also at risk.
Quotation from Electricity Grid in US Penetrated by Spies by Siobhan Gorman (The Wall Street Journal)

All we ever wanted was everything
All we ever got was cold
Get up, eat jelly
Sandwich bars, and barbed wire
Squash every week into a day.
Lyric from Bauhaus, All We Ever Wanted Was Everything (YouTube)

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14 Comments

What Ever Happened to the Pretty Girl?

by Seraphine Khorana on April 8th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
What Ever Happened to the Pretty Girl?

Being the “pretty girl” isn’t about beauty. The pretty girl makes things happen. It’s a combination of confidence, will and expectation.

So if you wanna go, walk right out that door
Cos I don’t want no more of your pretty girl bullshit
If you wanna leave, it’s okay with me, matter of fact
I’m begging please take your pretty girl bullshit.
Lyrics from Mario Winans and Foxy Brown, Pretty Girl Bullshit

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13 Comments

You have a nice one!

by Seraphine Khorana on April 7th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
You have a nice one!

Goodbye isn’t good enough. When people are compelled to add an additional “You have a nice one” upon parting, smile brightly and reply “thank you!”

FAREWELL! thou art too dear for my possessing
And like enough thou know’st thy estimate:
The charter of thy worth gives thee releasing;
My bonds in thee are all determinate.
Sonnet LXXXVII by William Shakespeare, Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing

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10 Comments

Who is going to save us now?

by Seraphine Khorana on April 6th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Who is going to save us now?

It wasn’t my fault. I drive a honda.

Disintegration: Antarctic Warming Claims Another Ice Shelf (Earth Observatory NASA)
Collapse Of The Ice Bridge Supporting Wilkins Ice Shelf Appears Imminent (Science Daily)

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9 Comments

May your Ears smell like Cookies

by Seraphine Khorana on April 5th, 2009
Posted In: Comics
May your Ears smell like Cookies

How many people have actually been tested for “Selective Hearing?” It’s that condition commonly referred to as “hearing only what you want to hear.” It affects primarily males, but it’s not entire to men.

Why do all men have selective hearing? (Daily Mail Online)

The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue; and no genius can long or often utter anything which is not invited and gladly entertained by men around him.
Quotation from Ralph Waldo Emerson, English Traits

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10 Comments

No One Plays in the School Yard

by Seraphine Khorana on April 3rd, 2009
Posted In: Comics
No One Plays in the School Yard

A my name is ALEX, my husband’s name is AIDAN, we live in AL’BAMA and we bring home APPLES.
B my name is BRIANNA, my husband’s name is BILL, we live in BOSTON and we bring home BOATS.
C my name is CARA, my husband’s name is CONNOR, we live in CINCINNATI and we bring home CORN.
D my name is DEMI, my husband’s name is BRUCE, we live in IDAHO and we bring home POTATOES.
–Jump Rope Rhyme

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let’s see: Don’t tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you’re sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.
Quotation from Homer Simpson

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9 Comments

28% Dork

by Seraphine Khorana on April 2nd, 2009
Posted In: Comics
28% Dork

There are some things you never outgrow.
But tell me exactly: What’s more important?
A) Who you are or B) Who you want to be?

I think I’ve been able to fool a lot of people because I know I’m a dork. I’m a geek.
Quotation from Gwen Stefani

I loved school so much that most of my classmates considered me a dork.
Quotation from Natalie Portman

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12 Comments

Beware of the Conficker Worm

by Seraphine Khorana on April 1st, 2009
Posted In: Comics
Beware of the Conficker Worm

Twelve million computers are estimated to be infected with the Conficker Worm. Once it’s on your computer, it disables antivirus software and opens it to further infection. And it’s set to ACTIVATE TODAY!

Conficker Worm: Hoax or Criminally Genius Scheme? (OSnews.com) “The most horrifying scheme of all is that it may be used to create what researchers call a “Dark Google,” a network of infected computers searchable for information at the whim of the criminal underground.”

According to tradition, people can pull pranks before noon today in the name of April Fools’ Day but become the fool if they do it in the afternoon.
Quotation from Australia’s largest-selling daily, the Herald Sun

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13 Comments