One night, I got angry drunk and made made a lemon of myself.
Somebody said “Don’t let her in again, she’s been kicked out.” I vommed
in some grass and a guy curb sat with me until my friends came.
I don’t remember much from that night except everybody hated me.

The Skeptic’s Dictionary has an in depth discussion on alien abduction.

Don’t miss “Part 6: Actual Photograph of a Possible Alien”
in which I single-handedly solve the mystery of alien life on earth. It exists!